


You Are NOT a Toy!

by Phlinting



Series: Loki Loves Movie Night [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Loki Does What He Wants, M/M, Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One Compliant, We're in the Movie?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-17
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-02 17:36:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6576004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phlinting/pseuds/Phlinting
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki really is just trying to help...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to _Bricks and Roads and Magic, Oh My._

Loki was bored.

Incredibly, irritatingly, exceptionally bored, bored, bored.

Why was he even putting up with the sickly sweet ridiculousness of the Tower's romantic triad? Yes, yes, his plan had been to bring them together, and yes, that was exactly how it had ended up—even without his brilliant scheme being set in motion—yet after seven months of their near-perfect bliss, Loki was ready to throttle someone. 

He was Loki. 

God of Mischief.

The Prankster.

Silvertongue. Liesmith.

The lying liar who lied. 

(And curse the lady Darcy for her ridiculous use of language that seemed to be contagious.)

Back to the point.

Mischief was his gig, his claim to fame, his signature move. (And Norns, yes, he'd been bored enough to have been playing ridiculous video games with the archer as well.) 

"Brother," Thor called jovially—and loudly, very, very loudly—"you're going to be late for movie night." Loki gave him a narrow-eyed look that should have at least made the blond oaf itch just a little. Thor simply boomed his enthusiasm more loudly. "It's my turn to pick what we watch. I chose the Story of the Toys. Tis my favorite."

Loki rolled his eyes but for some strange reason joined his brother as he lumbered toward the media area. How did it come to pass that he was bored enough to watch a movie chosen by Thor?

Loki sighed, the sound low and long-suffering.

Life among Midgardians was not at all what he'd expected.


	2. Chapter 2

Bucky couldn't help but smile when he walked into the media room. Everyone was in their usual spots. Natasha and Bruce were cuddled together on one of the ridiculously large recliners, Clint was sprawled out on the one beside them, a goofy grin on his face that usually meant his husband was due home any moment, and Thor, Jane, Loki, and Darcy were taking up one of the larger sofas.

Steve and Tony were snuggled together on the other one and obviously waiting for him. 

"Sorry I'm late," Bucky said to no one in particular. It was only by a few minutes, but since he was the last one to arrive it seemed like an appropriate thing to say. "Whose turn is it to pick the movie?"

"Thor's," Clint said, rolling his eyes where Thor couldn't actually see him.

Bucky smiled and tried not to laugh. "Toy Story?" he asked.

"Of course," Thor agreed, grinning broadly even as the three people sitting on the sofa with him made faces at his response.

Hey, if an Asgardian prince who controlled lightning wanted to choose the same damn movie every single time it was his turn to pick, who was Bucky to deny him?

And it had nothing at all to do with the very appealing idea of getting a chance to nap snuggled between his lovers. The opening notes to the movie began and he settled more comfortably into Tony's and Steve's embrace.

"Before we begin," Loki said, startling just about everyone in the room, "can I make a suggestion?"

JARVIS helpfully paused the movie as everyone turned their attention to the usually silent man. Even when he was playing video games with Clint, Loki tended to stay quiet. For a while Bucky had wondered if he simply didn't want to speak to lowly humans, but over time it had become apparent that silent observation was what Loki was used to. If only a handful of the legends about Loki were true, it certainly suggested that he'd never quite fit in with his adoptive family.

An awkward childhood that lasted thousands of years was not Bucky's idea of a good time.

"What kind of suggestion, brother?" Thor asked, his booming voice even louder than usual in his enthusiasm to encourage his brother to join in. Steve had told Bucky that they'd kind of welcomed Loki into the tower once his involvement in the Chitauri invasion had been explained, but it had been Loki's willingness to retrieve Bucky when he'd been at his most vulnerable that had cemented the Avenger's acceptance.

"Remember the Wizard of Oz thing?"

A cacophony of cuss words filled the room as almost everyone voiced their very negative opinion on that thought.

But Bucky was curious. Loki's intentions last time had been quite benign and when things had become serious he'd stepped in to fix everything he could, including Bucky's situation. And for that, Bucky would be forever grateful.

"What did you have in mind, Loki?" Bucky asked, ignoring the startled expressions the others gave him. All except Thor, who smiled broadly.

"Just a touch of levity, nothing more." Loki actually seemed a little nervous, but after a moment he plastered on his usual "unimpressed" expression. "The spell I used last time can be modified to work in a similar—but much better—way to the virtual reality technology that your resident archer drools over whenever he sees it advertised."

Clint laughed instead of taking offense to the insult. "So we'd be in the movie but still here in the room?" he asked with a wide smile. 

Loki nodded.

Bucky had felt like he should hate Loki when he'd first learned how he'd used Clint during the Chitauri attack—it had been a little too close to the way Hydra had used Bucky for him to not react—but it had been Clint's explanation that had talked him out of the guilt he felt for not being able to hate the guy. Once Bucky understood the type of reparations Loki had been doing to try and fix the poor decisions he'd made while working undercover, Bucky's estimation of the man had grown exponentially.

These days he trusted the Asgardian to watch Tony's and Steve's six when they were in battle. For Bucky there was no higher approval than that.

"That sounds like it could be fun," Bucky said, glancing around the room to judge the reactions of the others. "We'd be able to leave if there was a problem?"

"That's one of the tweaks I made," Loki said, his smile twitching just a bit wider when he realized everyone was now willing to at least hear his idea out loud.

"Oh, oh, hey can we choose what characters we play?" Darcy asked , her usual enthusiasm dialed up a notch or two. "I'm Hannah." She grinned at the people around her as if the decision had already been made.

"It doesn't quite work like that," Loki said, his voice a little more cautious now. Darcy pouted but grinned when Loki merely rolled his eyes. "The spell chooses the most appropriate character for each person."

"So we'll get a heads-up on things like Hydra being inside SHIELD the way we did last time?" Steve asked.

"Probably not," Loki said, "I doubt there are secrets that big left, but let's find out, shall we?"

Bucky shrugged and looked around the room. "I'm in," he said simply. Steve and Tony gave him worried frowns but both agreed to be included.

Darcy answered with her usual "Fuck, yeah!" and Jane nodded vigorously. Clint shrugged and said "Why not? I'm in too." Natasha rolled her eyes, but both she and Bruce agreed once they'd made certain the Hulk wasn't able to actually hurt anyone in the real world via virtual smashing.

"Okay," Loki said, "two things. Only the people in this room will leave with memories of what happened inside the movie. And if you need an emergency exit, just clap your hands twice."

"Sounds like a joyous time," Thor said, approvingly. 

Loki grinned, lifted his hands, and whispered a few words.

~*~

Clint glanced down at his big green feet and laughed softly. Of course he was the dinosaur, Rex. A year ago he might have been embarrassed by what that meant—Rex wasn't the only one who had feared being replaced by someone better—but these days his team was more than just a group of people fighting together against a common enemy. These days Clint was part of a close-knit family. Even if he couldn't fight with them anymore, he wasn't replaceable in their lives.

It was actually a very nice feeling.

~*~

Tony wasn't sure what it meant that twice now he'd ended up in a dress. Yep, Bo Peep. Maybe it was that she was the nightlight and he had the arc reactor? Or maybe Loki was just an asshole with a cracked sense of humor.

Interestingly, the sheep wore the faces of three of his minions in R&D at Stark Industries. Tony wasn't quite sure what that meant either, but he'd be taking a closer look at their personnel files next time they came up for review. He wanted visionaries on his development teams, not a bunch of sheep.

He took a step forward, wobbled on his delicate plastic feet, and made the decision to be very, very careful. Falling over was not what he wanted to do in a molded plastic dress. He had no idea if Bo Peep even wore underwear.

That would be more than embarrassing to find out the hard way.

Using her shepherd's staff to stay balanced, Tony very carefully turned to survey Andy's bedroom. 

~*~

The moment she could figure out how to clap her hands together Natasha was going to maim the Asgardian prince, slowly, very, very slowly. A pig? Loki's spell decided she should be the stupid piggy bank? She was going to enjoy carving holes into that pale jerk with _all_ of her favorite knives.

He'd made her into the stupid piggy bank that talked as if it knew everything when it very obviously didn't? Natasha wasn't that bad. She only pretended to know everything sometimes, and only when it was necessary, and how dare that arrogant prick do something so asshole-ish as to point it out.

Actually, nix that, she wasn't going to maim him. She was going to kill the Asgardian asshat.

"Breathe, Tash," Rex-Clint said as he bounced over to where she was lying on her side like a freaking beached whale. "It's probably because you're a vault when it comes to keeping secrets."

Oh.

Okay, so that wasn't quite so bad, but still, she planned to hurt Loki at least a little. Even if he didn't choose who was who, having giant coins slide around inside her belly was not at all comfortable, and somebody was going to pay…

~*~

Jane let out a sigh that made a series of squeaks, bopping noises, and burps. So not fair. Why the hell was she a robot? 

~*~

Darcy giggled and hopped foot to foot when she realized that her boss, Miss I-don't-sound-like-a-robot-when-I'm-talking-science, was actually the cute little robot beside her. It took another few seconds to realize she was the troll doll with super weird hair and no speaking voice. 

Loki, you asshole!

~*~

Bucky couldn't keep the stupid grin off his face. He'd always wanted to be a cowboy. 

"Help me. Help me!" Andy called in a falsetto voice, tilting Bo Peep as if she was the one talking. Bucky could barely hold in his glee when he realized that was Tony in the plastic dress. He winked at the doll and got a very mature tongue-poke for a reply.

For the next few minutes Andy played with his toys, making sure that Bucky, AKA Woody, saved the day again. Bucky almost broke "toy" protocols by laughing out loud when the attack dinosaur managed to flip Bucky the bird while letting himself be maneuvered into position.

Bucky didn't recognize the young man who was the slinky dog but made sure to memorize the face. If the guy was in one of Loki's movie spells, chances were he was going to be important to the Avengers sooner or later.

Hopefully, on their side considering the character he'd been cast to play.

Steve didn't seem to be in the room, but that wasn't really surprising. There was one dumbass character missing and he was a perfect match for the dumbass kid from Brooklyn who always threw himself headfirst into dangerous situations.

And he wouldn't be getting here until after Andy's party had started.

~*~

Bruce hadn't expected to start the movie lying on his back in the dirt, but that's exactly where he found himself. He lifted his head slightly to check out the rest of the yard (dirt, weeds, and broken toys everywhere) and his own "costume" (action figure dressed in green camouflage with what seemed to be a parachute strapped to his back.)

A Combat Carl?

Wait.

He was _the_ Combat Carl in Sid's backyard?

Yeah, this wasn't going to end well.


	3. Chapter 3

"Sorry, I'm la—" 

Phil's words cut off abruptly when he saw the Avengers in the media room. His gun was in his hand and pointed at Loki without any conscious thought. Yeah, he still had trust issues. So sue him. This was the guy who pushed a spear through his heart after all.

"Loki, what did you do?"

"Relax," Thor said, stepping between Loki and the gun as if his brother was actually concerned by such a futile weapon. Bullets bounced off the guy. Even the experimental weapon Phil had used on the hellicarrier had only knocked the asshole through the wall and not actually hurt him very much. "Son of Coul, I promise you that your friends are well." Thor pointed to the huge screen. "This time they went into the movie voluntarily and are there merely to have some fun."

"Fun?" Phil asked reflexively. It wasn't really a word he associated with the Avengers. Most of them were too traumatized, too broken, to be thought of as being capable of having fun, but really Phil should know better. He himself wasn't exactly known for his "fun" side, but he did enjoy life when he had a chance. 

"Perhaps you would like to simply watch for a while," Loki said, sounding like a perfectly reasonable human being (if one ignored the facts that Loki was neither human nor reasonable.)

Phil nodded, still not quite willing to trust the God of Mischief at his word, and moved toward his husband. Clint looked relaxed in the way he was sprawled across the recliner, but it was the rapid movement of his eyes under his closed eyelids that showed that he wasn't just sleeping. It was a little bit too close to the nightmares Phil had witnessed Clint suffer over the years for Phil to be comfortable.

Very carefully he lowered himself onto the recliner and pulled his husband into his arms. He couldn't help but smile when the dinosaur wearing Clint's face told the piggy bank that Phil was home, that he could feel his embrace.

"Anytime you're ready to join us, babe," Clint said straight into the camera. "Looks like you're Mister Potato Head."

Phil couldn't explain why that was appealing to him, but he shook his head slightly to let Loki know he wasn't quite ready to join the others just yet.

~*~

Steve was very grateful to realize that, while he was a toy still in its box, he wasn't immobilized or completely in the dark. Those things would have been way too close to his years in the ice and he was glad to avoid them. 

He could see through a small hole in the wrapping and he could hear Andy's mom getting the party organized, so he took a moment to breathe and enjoy the idea of being a _Space Ranger_ for a little while. 

~*~

Bucky just went with it, enjoying the freedom of knowing what was about to happen. He'd never dreamed that he'd be glad that Thor had made them watch the movie so many times that he knew every line, but it felt great to let go and just relax for a little while.

He smiled broadly as "Andy" swung him around the room and the opening song of the movie played. It wasn't the kid from the movie, but he did seem familiar. Bucky suspected it might be a young version of Tony's friend, Rhodey, but since he wasn't in the room back at the tower with them, he was playing the part as if he were the "real" Andy.

When the music finally stopped and the kid started bouncing around enthusiastically about his birthday party, Bucky couldn't help but remember the last celebration he'd attended.

It had been a huge formal affair for Tony's birthday with tuxedos and shined shoes and rubbing shoulders with society's most rich and famous. It had been caterers and gossips and formal speeches and Tony wearing the media smile Bucky and Steve hated, but once they'd gotten through that, once all of the "expected" social behavior had been covered, Tony had taken them all home—Steve and Bucky, Natasha and Bruce, Clint and Phil, Thor and Jane, and Loki and Darcy—and they'd celebrated without the pomp and ceremony. It had turned into a truly enjoyable night after that, but it had highlighted to Steve and Bucky just how much of Tony's past had been "fake."

Tony played the society darling to perfection, but it wasn't who he was on the inside. Bucky felt truly humbled to know that he was allowed to see the real man, the genius who cared more for the people around him than for himself. It was almost hilarious that Steve had gone and fallen in love with a man as reckless as himself.

Served him right for all the worry he'd caused Bucky in their younger years.

Andy's mom finally told him to "go get Molly" and he ran up the stairs with Bucky in his hand. Thank heavens he couldn't feel actual pain in this body because he suspected being carried like this for real would be very uncomfortable.

Bucky flopped bonelessly onto the mattress just the way Woody did in the movie and then waited for Andy to collect his little sister and leave the room. The moment the door closed, he climbed off the bed and went to investigate who ended up as what toy.

He very nearly made a fatal mistake by laughing when he saw Natasha.

~*~

"Ages three and up. It's on the box. Three and up!"

Ew, drool.

"Okay," Phil said to Thor and Loki, "I'm suddenly very glad I was late."

Thor laughed uproariously, but Loki merely gave him a tiny worried smile. It was a little bit humbling to realize that behind that fabled arrogance was just a man as unsure of himself as everyone else. Of course, that could be the act, but Phil had spent enough time with broken people to recognize another one. And if Clint could forgive Loki for the way he'd used and manipulated him, Phil could at least give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Once he gets all the drool off," Phil said, smiling at Thor's huge grin, "I'd like to join them." Loki's expression was very serious, as if he'd expected Phil to refuse outright. "If that's not too much trouble."

"No," Loki said, plastering on the mischievous grin that wasn't quite as fake as Tony's media smile. "No problem at all, Agent Coulson. Have fun."

Phil became aware of being Mister Potato Head just as he reached for the drool-covered eyeball and shoved it into his socket.

He should have known the Prankster would find a way around his request to delay until Mister Potato Head was drool free. He'd actually been drool free until he'd picked up the drool-covered eyeball…

Ugh.

~*~

"Staff meeting!" Bucky called, playing the part of Woody as best he remembered it. "Snake, Robot, podium duty." He laughed at the way Jane as a robot grabbed the toy snake—who seemed to be one of the assistants in her lab—and dragged it out from under the bed.

The staff meeting was nothing like the one in the movie. Between Natasha's deadpan comments and Clint's comical attempts to make his little arms throw things as accurately as he did in real life, the entirety of the room ended up in hysterics.

Slinky looked confused but happily joined in the fun suggesting that when they did meet the real man behind the movie character that he'd fit in with the near-insanity that was the Avengers.

Tony flirted outrageously while still managing to use the words from the film. Oh yeah, Bucky was all for somebody else watching the sheep tonight!

He startled and almost fell off the bed when Pepper- _Sergeant_ -Potts yelled "Sir, yes, sir!" and went to mobilize the troops to spy on the birthday gifts being opened by Andy. It was kind of sad the woman was attending a meeting half way around the world. Pepper would very likely appreciate being cast as the drill sergeant who never left a man behind. Bucky would make sure she knew the next time she joined them for a meal.

Grinning like a loon and more relaxed than he could remember—and that might have something to do with the fact that he had no bones—Bucky finally climbed back onto the bed and waited for Buzz Lightyear to crash land in his spot.

~*~

By the time Andy ripped open his packaging the noise level from the party guests had risen to almost unbearable levels. Steve was actually glad to have the space helmet blocking at least some of the sound.

The jostling as the kids all ran up the stairs left him grateful for his super healing that meant even if he did get a headache it wouldn't last very long. He caught sight of Bucky sliding off the edge of the bed and had to concentrate really hard on staying still until Andy and his party guests all left the room.

The moment the door closed, he stood to attention, plastered on a super-wide cheesy grin, and waited for Woody and the rest of the toys to join him.

~*~

Bucky laughed when Steve played the part perfectly, pointing his "laser" at Bucky's head while pretending to be startled. For about half a second Bucky worried that his lover didn't remember who he was, but then Steve grinned, flipped back his helmet, and dragged Bucky down for a kiss.

The smooshing of plastic was very strange, but the sentiment was appreciated.

Steve then took the opportunity to risk life and limb (as usual) to prove that he could fly, also known as "falling with style," and then flirted outrageously with Tony who managed to make the words "I've found my moving buddy" sound way more salacious than the kid's movie ever had.

A quick musical montage later (that would have been very helpful in real life if it had caught him up on world-changing events just as quickly) Bucky and Steve both startled when Slinky called "Oh, no, it's Thad" from his spot near the window.

That was the first time that any of the "toys" had changed the name of any of the others. It was a deviation from the movie and a possible signal that something in the real world needed their attention.

"Time to go to work," Steve said with a wry smile.

"Yeah, Avengers Ass—"

Steve laughed when Bucky cut off the words for no actual reason, but they both moved quickly toward the window.

Yeah, it had been fun while it lasted.

~*~

"Oh, it's a Combat Carl," Bucky said, the movie's line falling from his lips before he truly registered what he was looking at. "Oh, shit, that's Bruce."

"Bruce is about to get blown up?" Steve asked, grabbing Lenny, the binoculars (whose voice sounded suspiciously like JARVIS's) and taking a look for himself. 

"Steve," Natasha said, her voice not quite as calm as it was usually, "wasn't the general who hunted for the Hulk all those years named Thaddeus?"

"Shit," Tony said, swearing more as he wobbled on his silly little feet, "General Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross."

"That was all sorted out long before the Chitauri invasion," Potato-Head-Phil said with confidence. "Ross was told in no uncertain terms by the WSC that he was to leave the Hulk alone."

"Loki's spell suggests otherwise," Bucky said, willing to believe what he was seeing simply because the last spell had saved him. As Loki had explained, he didn't make this stuff up. Learning secrets was just part of the way the spell worked.

"He's lighting it," Clint said in a far calmer voice than his movie counterpart had used. "Let's hope the Hulk doesn't get too upset."

~*~

Bruce really hoped that he and the other guy were in agreement when it came to being blown up in a movie. Ever since the last time Loki had thrown them into this sort of situation Bruce had become more aware of the Hulk inside his own mind, and he had more influence over the Hulk's actions when the big guy took over.

It wasn't perfect by any means, and the Hulk's anger would always be proportional to his fear, but that extra bit of understanding between them had helped them avoid adding to the Hulk's body count in the past seven months.

Of course being deliberately blown up in a movie could be a whole new level of weird. _"We're okay, big guy,"_ Bruce whispered in his mind. _"Nothing can hurt our real body back in the tower."_ He shrugged. _"But if you want to take over and, I don't know, smash the toes on the kid who is about to blow us up, I'm okay with that."_ He felt rather than heard the Hulk's happy response. _"Just remember that Natasha is beside us at home, so keep the smashing to inside the movie, okay?"_

Bruce could swear he heard a deep laugh before the familiar sensation of the Hulk taking over began even before the nasty kid lit the fuse on the firecracker.

~*~

Every single time Bruce changed from Bruce to the Hulk, Steve thanked everything holy that the guy was on their side.

At least this time he could enjoy it and not feel a need to try and control the Hulk's actions. The big guy didn't like being told what to do, and since he couldn't hurt anything outside of the movie, Steve was more than happy to let the Hulk do whatever he wanted.

Especially to the cartoon version of an evil man who'd just tried to blow him up.


	4. Chapter 4

Clint stayed by Natasha's side, watching her closely for signs of distress.

"He's still Bruce in the real world," she said, clearly reading his worry, "but even if he does change, I'm safe."

Clint smirked. "You aren't the one I was worried about," he lied. Thor was still in the room and he would protect them all if the Hulk decided to smash outside of the movie as well, but with Natasha cuddled in his embrace, reaching her before she sustained fatal injuries might have been tough.

But the fact that Bruce hadn't hulked out in the real world even after the firecracker had exploded suggested that Hulk had a fairly clear understanding of what was going on. For once they could all relax and enjoy letting Hulk smash.

~*~

Steve wasn't really surprised when Hulk grew in size, roared angrily, and charged at the kid version of the man who'd pursued him for years in the real world. Sid might have been just a nasty kid, but General Thaddeus Ross was a man with a hidden agenda and that was far more concerning, especially now that he'd made an appearance in Loki's movie spell. 

The bad guys who showed up in their Wizard of Oz movie adventure had been Hydra operatives hiding inside SHIELD and they'd been cast as flying monkeys. If General Ross was the nasty kid, they definitely needed more details.

But instead of shrieking and running away like Sid had done when the toys had spoken to him in the movie, Ross took a moment to look startled and then grinned like he'd been waiting for the Hulk to arrive. Even before Hulk could reach him, Ross also grew in size, his clothes burning away as bright red skin tore through. Even from where Steve was standing, he could see the heat rising from the guy's shoulders.

"What the hell is that?" Clint asked.

Unfortunately Steve had a pretty good idea what the answer might be.

~*~

"Hulk smash!"

_"Go for it, buddy,"_ puny Bruce whispered in the back of Hulk's mind. _"But only in the movie, okay?"_

Hulk grinned. Smashing fun! Puny Bruce not even trying to stop. Hulk smash good! He charged. No stopping, even when kid get big and red, even when dog beside him turn into monster Hulk had to fight before! 

Hulk smash. Hulk protected Betty last time. Hulk protect Avenger toys this time!

He roared again, louder, longer, as red thing burned him.

Hulk _very_ angry now!

~*~

Battle plans, strategies, and desperate thoughts buzzed urgently in Steve's mind, but none of it was going to do any good while he was a plastic toy. If any of them got too close they were literally going to melt or burst into flames or both. 

Even as they watched on helplessly, the grass and weeds caught fire and burned away from the red thing that had been a junior version of General Ross. 

~*~

Bucky watched the fight as it unfolded, for the first time since seeing the big green guy in action, suddenly fearing for the creature who'd proven indestructible time and time again. Loki had promised that no one who got hurt in the movie would be hurt in real life, but Hulk probably wasn't able to understand how that worked.

Chances were Hulk thought he was fighting for his life and was about to be beaten to a pulp by a red version of himself and the failed lab experiment known as the Abomination. 

Just as Steve ordered Natasha to go back to the real world and get the "hell away from Bruce, just in case" Hulk showed an unexpected sense of self preservation.

He clapped twice.

~*~

Clint laughed so hard at the way the red hulk-like guy and the Abomination turned in circles over and over as if that would reveal their enemy, that he fell from the desk and landed on his big green head.

Wow that was so much easier when one was made of rubbery plastic.

"Hey, Buzz," he yelled to Steve. "Aren't you supposed to rescue helpless toys?"

"Helpless, yes," Steve said with a grin as he slid down the leg of the desk and landed beside Clint, "but I figured landing on your head a time or two might make you think twice before jumping off a damn building next time."

"Nope," Clint said, laughing harder when Phil plucked his Potato Head eyes out of the sockets and made an exaggerated rolling motion. "But maybe Tony should consider making my next costume out of rubber so I can bounce."

"Yep, that's my aim in life, Merida. All those years of training and education and practical experience just so that I can wrap you in a rubber ball and push you off buildings." Tony stopped as if to think about it. "On second thoughts, yep, let's do that. No need for arrows. We'll just bounce you toward the enemy and let momentum and gravity do the work for us."

Clint nodded and laughed again, glad that he could joke around with his teammates and not fear that he'd be misunderstood or treated as stupid because of it. He didn't need to prove anything to the people who'd already accepted him as family.

"Okay, gather around," Steve called in his Captain America voice. "Coulson what can you tell us about General Ross?"

"Officially he is well respected and his experiments sanctioned and highly regarded. Dragging General Thaddeus 'Thunderbolt' Ross's misdeeds into the light is going to be way harder than it was to bring down Hydra seven months ago." 

Once they'd known who the sleeper agents were it had actually been pretty easy to prove what they'd been up to. Even Pierce had left enough evidence to convict him easily. Of course, having Bucky as living proof certainly helped their case. 

Phil shook his head and glanced around the group that somehow comprised of the Avengers and several of the "toys" including Slinky Dog. "Ross is a slippery customer. He pursued Hulk for years, always managing to scare him into doing something destructive enough to warrant Ross's actions."

Clint looked in the direction he felt the camera would be and hoped Bruce wasn't too upset at the Hulk being described that way. When they'd first teamed up in the Chitauri attack, it had been apparent that Hulk was a little bit like a child but clearly had the potential to learn and be more. He'd actually grown in control and vocabulary in the past couple years working with the Avengers, and Clint really hoped this experience didn't mess with the Hulk's improvement or Bruce's sense of self worth. Now that General Ross wasn't terrifying them every chance he got, Hulk was finally getting the chance to grow up that he deserved, and Bruce had found love and the chance for home and family.

Both sides of Bruce Banner were happy. Clint wasn't going to let anyone mess that up.

"We need to get into Sid's room," he said as he remembered the sort of "operations" Sid had been doing on his and his younger sister's toys. "We're about one third through the movie already, so we need to move."

"And we can't risk not getting in," Tony said, his concern for Bruce easy to read on his face. If General Ross was coming after one of the Avengers he was going to have to go through all of them first. "Sid's room has locks all over the door."

"True," Steve agreed, glancing at the toys surrounding him. "Bucky and I will continue with the storyline since Woody and Buzz actually do end up in Sid's room, but if you can buy us more time by getting in there first that would help a great deal."

Sid's room was directly across from the window of Andy's room. Clint would have given just about anything at that moment to have a grappling arrow, his compound bow, and the arms to actually use it. "We'll figure something out," he said in a voice more confident than he was feeling. They'd find a way. It was what they did. And he wasn't going to think about failing right now.

"Okay," Bucky said, his deadpan tone not unfamiliar from other mission briefings. "Time to knock Buzz Lightyear out a window."

Steve laughed, and then let him do just that.


	5. Chapter 5

"Any ideas on how to get from here to Sid's room?" Clint asked as soon as Andy collected Bucky and had gone off to have dinner at Pizza Planet. 

Natasha glanced around the room hoping that there was something in here that they could use as a bridge between the two houses. In the movie Woody had thrown Christmas lights across the gap pretty easily, so they just needed something similar.

"Loki, now would be a very good time for me not to be a piggy bank," Natasha said under her breath, trying to make it sound like she was bored, not frustrated. 

The God of Mischief either wasn't listening or couldn't do anything to change her character. 

Annoyed as hell, Natasha startled in a very non-assassiny way—something else she planned to blame on Loki—when the robot rolled into her from behind. It made a series of squeaks, burps, and other annoying noises before the troll doll danced closer to Natasha as if trying to translate for the robot.

"Darcy?" Natasha asked when she finally got a good look at the doll's face. Darcy danced faster but apparently didn't have a voice. For a young woman as loquacious as Darcy, that had to be torture. And, apparently, her limbs weren't flexible either. Suddenly being a piggy bank that could talk and move despite being hard, hollow plastic wasn't quite so bad.

But Darcy's movements suggested the robot was most likely Jane and that Jane had a suggestion on how to get across to Sid's room.

Fucking fabulous. Now they just needed a translator who could actually talk.

~*~

Apparently Mister Potato Head could only translate RC's noises. Nothing that came out of Jane the Robot seemed like words.

"Sorry," Phil said, "it's all gibberish to me too."

"And that's different to how she normally talks…because?" Clint whispered into his ear. Phil tried to keep a straight face, but despite many years of practice that was quite difficult. Jane did have a tendency to talk too fast about subjects most of them barely understood. Even Tony and Bruce had trouble keeping up with Jane's brilliance when she was on a science "roll." 

Then again the same could be said for both Tony and Bruce when they were talking about the science of things they were passionate about.

"Darcy, can you maybe set up a practical simulation?" Clint suggested, proving again that he was good at finding solutions to unexpected problems. It had saved their asses many times while on SHIELD assignments.

Darcy danced on the spot and Jane made another long series of irritating noises, but a moment later they both moved with purpose. Slinky seemed startled when Jane and Darcy took an end each and stretched him out. Of course, Slinky still thought he was a toy, so the reaction wasn't unrealistic.

"Okay, so we can maybe use Slinky as a high-wire," Clint said, nodding approvingly. 

In real life walking across a thin stretch of steel cable wouldn't be a problem for the ex-circus performer, but that might be a bit more challenging in dinosaur form. Phil rolled his eyes—without removing them from the sockets this time—and tried to comfort himself with the knowledge that they already knew his beloved dinosaur-Clint could safely bounce even if he landed on his head.

"But how are we going to get one end of me over there. I can't jump that far and I no longer have my wings."

Every toy and Avenger in the room turned to look at Slinky. He was bendy, springy, and bouncy in the movie, but there had never been a suggestion he'd once been able to fly. That had definitely come from the man behind the toy.

Jane broke the silence with another series of beeps and Darcy bounced over to Clint and urged him to move closer. She bounced against him a few times, encouraging him to move closer to Slinky's head.

Phil was still trying to figure out what Jane and Darcy were suggesting when Clint started to laugh. "Just like a golf club?" he asked. "Okay, Slinky, do you mind if we try a couple of practice runs?"

Slinky looked around the room, shuffled his front half a little bit closer to the back half and then nodded his approval. "Looks like Buzz isn't the only one who'll get the chance to fall with style."

~*~

They fell from the car right on cue.

Bucky and Steve considered making out instead of fighting under the vehicle, but honestly, the smooshing of plastic was far more appealing when they were beating the crap out of each other than trying to kiss.

It was actually quite a fun sparring session until they had to climb into the delivery van and Bucky got thrown all over the "cargo" area the same way Woody had endured. Bucky at least managed to get out of the way of the tool box as it slid toward the back of the vehicle.

Sneaking into Pizza Planet disguised as a drink cup and a burger box was more awkward than it seemed, but instead of searching for Andy they went straight to the claw machine.

"Ah…" Steve said intelligently when Bucky joined him in the area where the toys were located. "What happened to the three-eyed alien toys?"

"These guys are vaguely familiar," Bucky said, the usual frustration of dealing with unclear memories in his tone. "I know the yellow uniform."

"Are they bad guys?" Steve asked, regretting the question the moment he asked it. If Bucky knew that he wouldn't be so irritated with his spotty memories.

It was likely he was trying to access something more in his memory, but after a few moments he took a deep breath and let it out slowly, using the coping mechanisms he'd learned from the SHIELD therapist who'd been working with him the past seven months. "In the movie the toys are zealots," Bucky said in a much calmer voice. "And zealots are almost always dangerous."

Steve nodded. He tried to respect people's beliefs, but when those ideas threatened other people then something had to be done. The good news was that the Avengers hadn't encountered anyone dressed in yellow onesies yet, but they'd know to be cautious when they did.

They didn't have to wait much longer for Sid to come along and use the claw machine to get them out of there. They spent the entire trip home listening to one of the yellow toys ramble on about advancements and ideas and mechanics. It was a rather enlightening trip.

~*~

"Ready?" Clint asked, confident that he now had the right weight, speed, and trajectory to be able to land Slinky's front half on the window sill of Sid's bedroom.

"Anytime you are, Rex," Slinky dog replied as he shuffled into their starting position.

Clint nodded, checked his footing so that he wasn't at risk of toppling out the window on his back swing, then lined up his tail and spun in a circle. Slinky whooped as he flew through the air, his reaction suggesting that the man in real life might very well have spent a lot of time jumping out of airplanes. He landed awkwardly, but managed to get a good grip before his springy stomach could pull him back.

"Military?" Clint asked Phil as he came to stand beside him.

"I'm guessing Air Force, maybe spec ops," Phil said with a nod.

"Could be," Clint agreed, turning his attention to Natasha as she climbed awkwardly onto the desk. "You up for this?"

Natasha gave him _the_ look. And yeah, if he valued his life he'd probably not have asked such a stupid question. Then again, Natasha had been his closest friend for more years than he cared to count. He at least got a pass or two when it came to sassing the Black Widow.

"I'm hoping the same time warp effect that we got in Wizard of Oz is going to work on this too," Clint said as he carefully shuffled forward and slid his big green feet onto the tiny green wire. "See you on the other side."

~*~

Natasha had never known anyone with better balance and spatial accuracy than Clint Barton, but even she was impressed by how well he balanced that unfamiliar dinosaur body. 

Actually moving onto the window sill at the other side was a little tricky, but once he managed to lift the window frame he had more room to move. Natasha placed one foot on the wire and breathed a sigh of relieve when the movie skipped the details and she, Phil, Clint, and Slinky found themselves safely inside Sid's room.

Although "safely" might have been an oxymoron. There was nothing safe about the room they'd just found themselves in.

Natasha could swear in many different languages. 

She used every one of them.


	6. Chapter 6

"Spread out," Phil said, falling into mission mode despite still being in toy form. "Gather as much information as you can, especially anything that might identify where the hell this place is in real life."

Natasha and Clint nodded and moved away. Surprisingly Slinky did the same, definitely _not_ acting like a toy. Judging by his reactions the real man, his training, his professionalism, and his skills were bleeding through the Slinky Dog character. Phil was very much looking forward to meeting him in real life.

~*~

The swaying motion of being inside Sid's backpack wasn't exactly comforting, but at least they didn't have stomachs that could get queasy.

Steve and Bucky were trying to get back into mission mode—they really hoped to find some idea of what General Ross was up to in real life by searching Sid's bedroom—but the movie had so far been a relaxing escape from reality for both of them. Unlike the first time when they'd had no idea what was going on, this time playing inside the movie had been a lot of fun.

It was a shame that it had to end, but they were Avengers and it was time to go to work.

The last thing Steve was expecting right at that moment was for Clint to swing down off the roof like an oversized, oddly shaped Tarzan hanging off Christmas tree lights, unzip Sid's bag on one pass, and call for them to grab his feet when momentum brought him back to them once more.

Sid made an odd sort of squawking sound but he didn't move fast enough to stop them.

Obviously something had changed, so Bucky and Steve followed their teammate's instructions and found themselves swinging toward the open window of Andy's room with Slinky braced and ready to leap out and catch the three of them in some sort of trapeze act where the wire was the actual star of the show.

They hit the side of the house pretty hard, but it didn't hurt any of them.

Steve and Bucky each held onto one of Clint's big green feet as the rest of the toys pulled Slinky back in the window. By the time they tumbled onto Andy's desk they were breathless with laughter. 

"Why the heroic rescue, Clint?" Steve asked, again trying to get back into mission mode, but not quite succeeding.

"No reason, Cap," Clint said with a bright smart-ass smile. "We were finished in Andy's room and you know me—I never give up the chance to dive off a building—so we figured, what the heck."

"Where's Natasha?"

"She went home to check on Bruce," Clint said, casually. 

"Okay, so the room was a bust?"

"Not completely," Phil advised. "We'll follow up a lead when the movie is finished." He grinned and shrugged—the movement quite odd on a plastic potato—before he moved closer to Clint and _accidentally_ knocked him out of the window. 

It wasn't like Phil or Clint to be so clumsy, but Steve supposed being shaped like a T-Rex or a potato would take quite of bit of getting used to. "You okay, Clint?" Steve called, hanging out the window as he tried to see where Clint had landed.

"I'm fine, Cap," the dinosaur called from a spot Steve couldn't see.

"Sorry, honey," Phil added, not sounding very sorry at all. "We'll meet you on the moving van."

"Okay," Clint called back, the rattling of the foliage suggesting that Clint was already moving toward the front of the house. 

"In the meanwhile," Phil said with a small smile "I suggest we all relax and enjoy the rest of the movie."

~*~

"Nat?" Thor asked the moment she clapped her hands and blinked out of the movie. "I assume you have a plan."

"I do," she said, rolling out of the chair she'd been lounging in with Bruce and turning her attention to Loki. "Anything else you can tell us before we go?"

Loki raised an eyebrow, but shook his head slowly. "You're not planning on telling the Captain and his boyfriends?"

"We will," Natasha said, "when we're sure there's something to tell." 

"And what of the person behind Slinky Dog?" Loki asked. "It would appear he is destined to play a rather large part in what happens next.

Natasha shrugged. "I guess we'll find out when we get to DC."

"Oh," Thor said as if remembering something. "Go to the VA. Ask for Sam Wilson."

"That's him?" Natasha asked skeptically.

"There was a minor dream sequence in the movie," Thor said, his words slightly stilted as if he were making them up as he went along. "We saw him in a VA meeting and wearing a name tag."

Natasha wasn't sure why Thor was lying, but if his information was accurate, she really didn't give a shit where it had come from.

Clint woke a few moments later. "Wheels up in five?" he asked, already rushing toward the exit.

"I'll meet you on the quinjet."

Clint nodded, glanced once in his husband's direction and then left the room to collect his gear.

"What shall we tell the good captain when he returns from the movie?" Thor asked.

"Tell him Clint and I got called in for a mission briefing." She quirked her lips and turned her attention to Bruce. "Please, make it sound routine." She turned back to Thor. "No offense, big guy, but you can't lie worth a damn."

Thor laughed heartily, apparently conceding defeat on that point.

~*~

"Hey, doll," Bucky said as he wrapped his arms around Tony and pulled him closer. Bo Peep's plastic dress made it damn awkward. "Miss me?"

"Not if you plan on calling me 'doll' for the rest of my life," Tony sassed. 

"Aw," Bucky said, "don't be like that, powder puff." Tony gave him a look that should have melted his plastic parts on the spot. "Sugar pie? Cupcake? Blossom?" He waited a moment for dramatic effect. "Poopsie?"

"Yeah, okay," Tony said, trying to hide his laughter. "Doll is fine. You can call me doll."

"Okay, doll," Steve said, grinning widely as he joined Bucky and Tony on the bed. "It doesn't look like we'll be playing out the rest of the scenes the way they did in the actual movie. Any idea what we can do with the last fifteen minutes?"

Bucky grinned, pulled Tony closer, and twirled them around.

And that's how half of the Avengers and the rest of Andy's toys got caught by Andy's mom in the middle of a very competitive dance off.


	7. Chapter 7

"Damn, who knew Andy's mom could swing a broom like that?" Tony asked, laughing as the movie ended with the "possessed" toys that "were _not_ dancing!"—and yes, the Avengers were quite aware of how adults could deny what their eyes did see—all stuffed into a cardboard box that was sealed tight and thrown into the back of the moving van.

"I'm just glad the poor woman isn't actually real," Steve said, grinning widely even as he stretched out his long muscular limbs. "That would have been a rather traumatizing experience."

"Good point," Bucky said, reaching over to pull Tony to his feet. 

Tony glanced around the room and noticed that Phil was alone. "Did our favorite archer get stuck in the movie?"

Phil laughed and shook his head. "I suspect that he left the movie rather than trying to climb onto the moving van."

Tony narrowed his eyes at Phil's explanation. Considering how long he'd been gone on his last assignment Tony had at been expecting Phil and Clint to be attached at the hip for at least a few days. Jane and Darcy were reacting the way he expected—Jane cuddling into Thor's massive body and Darcy loudly berating Loki for landing her with the role of a toy that couldn't talk. Judging by the super speed and high pitch, Darcy fully intended right now to make up for all the words she hadn't been able to say inside the movie.

It was almost enough to make him pity poor Loki.

"Where's Natasha?" Steve asked, apparently also noticing the way things felt not quite right.

"Oh," Bruce said as if just realizing the woman he loved wasn't in the room. "They got called in for a mission briefing." 

Steve frowned and Tony knew he was probably thinking the same thing he was. The Avengers were a team and while they still worked cooperatively with SHIELD, Steve preferred their assignments these days to keep them all together.

Breaking them up also made it difficult when an assemble call came in. They all had their strengths and weaknesses in battle and the Avengers worked best when fighting together.

"It's nothing, Cap," Bruce said, in his quiet, earnest tone. "Just routine."

"Is it also routine to lie to me?" Steve asked mildly.

Tony was more concerned about _why_ their teammates would feel the need to lie to them rather than the actual lie itself. Natasha, Phil, and Slinky had all reported that searching Sid's room had been a waste of time, but it seemed pretty obvious now that they knew something they didn't want the rest of them to know.

And judging by the expressions on both Bruce's and Thor's faces, it was something they specifically wanted to hide from Steve.

"Relax, Cap," Tony said. "They're superspies and very capable of taking care of themselves."

"Tony," Steve said in a weary tone reminiscent of their early days together.

"Tony's right," Bucky said, obviously also realizing that this was about Steve—whatever "this" was. "They'll call us in if they need us. For now the best thing we can do is get some sleep."

Steve raised an eyebrow. 

Tony laughed and pushed against the solid wall of muscle that was Steve Rogers in the hope of getting him to move toward the elevator. "Fine, first we'll exhaust ourselves," he said with his most lascivious wink, "and then we'll get some sleep."

It was pretty obvious that Steve didn't want to leave without an explanation, but it was also clear to everyone in the room—even those who didn't know what was actually going on—that they were only trying to protect Steve.

"Come on, punk," Bucky said, adding his considerable assistance to Tony's effort in trying to move the immovable Steve Rogers. "You're always telling me to trust my teammates. How about this time you lead by example?"

Steve nodded slowly, and then let Tony and Bucky lead him from the room.

~*~

Sam Wilson blinked a couple of times, trying very hard to deny what he was seeing. He'd dreamed earlier about being a toy in a strange version of a familiar kids' movie, but that didn't explain why he was hallucinating now. 

It wasn't really possible that Hawkeye and Black Widow were standing in his bedroom in the middle of the night, was it?

"Hey," Hawkeye said, grinning broadly at Sam's confusion, "got a moment to talk?"

"Urgh ga ur…"

"Don't worry," Black Widow said as she moved a step closer to Sam's bed. "Hawkeye usually has that effect on people."

There were probably some really intelligent questions Sam should be asking about now, but for the life of him none would come to mind. "Where di… Um… Why are… Did you… ah… need something?"

Black Widow smiled and, yes, it was as terrifying as he imagined it might be. Sam was a big enough Avengers fan to know the history of both these people—and that was only the history they wanted the world to know. Which led to all sorts of uncomfortable, unanswerable questions. Holy fuck. Why were they in his bedroom in the middle of the night?

"A friend told us you have a few skills we might need on a time sensitive op."

"Oh, um… I'm retired?"

Hawkeye grinned. "Was that a statement or a question?"

Black Widow rolled her eyes. "You were a pilot?" she asked.

Sam frowned but nodded. Pilot wasn't entirely accurate, but since his missions had all been classified it was close enough. 

"But you weren't an ordinary pilot," Black Widow said as if he'd somehow given her a different answer to the simple nod he'd tried to give.

Sam smiled nervously and shrugged. 

Hawkeye laughed. "Nat, as entertaining as this is…"

Black Widow nodded. "We're wheels up in five minutes," she said, her tone suggesting Sam had no room to argue. "You can explain on the way there how you can help."

Sam flicked his gaze to Hawkeye.

"Correct response," Hawkeye said with an amused grin, "is 'Yes, ma'am.'"

Even as a civilian Sam knew when to follow orders. 

"Yes, Ma'am!"

~*~ 

Just once Clint would like a mission that went according to plan. He hurried to the rendezvous point and prayed for a fucking miracle. He knew the sound of gunfire when he heard it and that was not going to help with their stealthy "sneak and peek."

"Report!" he growled through the comms, unable to use call signs on the off chance that Tony's communication devices weren't as secure as he thought. It was absolutely critical that no one knew they were here.

Fuck.

They hadn't planned on splitting up, but time was short and the underground facility was fucking huge. The plan had been to get in, gather as much information as possible, and then get the hell out. They'd let Steve make the decision on what to do about it, but first they needed to know what was being done and how far they'd gotten in their research.

"Hang on," Natasha finally whispered. "He's coming to you."

"What about you?" Clint asked, agitated beyond belief. 

He waited several minutes in tense silence before Natasha finally whispered, "We're safe. He should be there any moment."

"We?" Clint asked reflexively, instantly knowing that Natasha wouldn't be able to explain until later. But if Sam was coming back, then who was Natasha referring to when she said "we're safe"?

"Keep your head down," Natasha advised in an urgent whisper. "It's more important than ever that Ross doesn't know who just invaded his base."

That was rather ominous, and in battle conditions Clint may have even told her that over the comms. Instead he did as his best friend ordered and waited for his air support. 

~*~

Yep, Sam was obviously dreaming. 

Hawkeye and the Black Widow _did not_ invade his bedroom, the three of them _could not_ have snuck into a high security base and stolen back his wings, and there was _no way in hell_ he was currently swooping in to collect Clint Barton while Natasha Romanov waited at the agreed upon rendezvous point with an unexpected package.

And there was absolutely _no fucking way_ that the inside of the base looked like the dream he'd had earlier when he'd been a Slinky dog toy!

Nope, none of it was happening.

He was at home, in his bed, and he was _definitely_ still dreaming.


	8. Chapter 8

Steve woke early. 

His version of the serum meant he didn't need as much sleep as most people, but it also had the problematic side effect of giving him plenty of time to brood. He was tempted to go for a run, but didn't really want to leave the building in case Clint and Natasha called in. And besides, New York might be the city that never sleeps, but a man running through the streets at this hour tended to freak people out.

He settled for punching things instead. 

He wasn't even sure how long he'd been training when Bucky joined him in the gym. Instead of striking up a conversation, Bucky simply went to the treadmill and started running. After a few minutes of listening to Bucky's smooth, rhythmic footfalls, Steve felt his shoulder muscles relax just a bit.

Bucky was so very different to the brash, overly confident man he'd been in his youth, but at the same time still so similar. He'd always known exactly when to push Steve and when to back away. Right now he was making himself available in case Steve needed to talk it through.

The strange thing was that somewhere between the first punch and the thousandth he'd come to terms with the fact that his team was entitled to protect him too. If he'd learned something disturbing that adversely affected any of the others, he'd at least make certain he knew all the facts before saying anything.

Whatever Clint, Natasha, and Phil had found inside Sid's room, it likely affected Steve most of all, and they were determined to protect him. Short of suggesting they weren't capable of doing their jobs—and they proved over and over that they most definitely were capable—Steve really had no choice but to wait and see what happened.

He, of course, possessed little patience, and he'd always preferred action over waiting, but he respected his teammates enough to let them do this.

The realization was as soothing as it was scary. 

Finally exhausted, he stopped punching the bag, grabbed a water bottle, and turned to watch Bucky run a few more miles while he drank.

Bucky grinned when he moved closer.

"Ready for a shower?" Steve asked, letting Bucky know with just a look that he meant more than just getting wet.

Bucky's smile grew even wider as he turned down the speed on the treadmill and slowed to a walk. "I have at least another six miles to run," he said in a teasing tone. "It seems like a waste of time having a shower in the middle of my cardio workout."

Steve laughed at the innocent expression Bucky somehow managed to make. "How about I help you finish your workout in the shower?"

"Now that," Bucky said, stepping off the treadmill and reaching for his towel and water bottle, "sounds like a brilliant idea."

~*~

Tony rolled over and wasn't surprised to find the bed empty. It was the downside of being in love with two super soldiers. No matter how little sleep Tony could live on—especially while on a science bender—it was still more than either Steve or Bucky needed.

"J," he asked his AI as he rolled out of bed and padded barefoot to the bathroom, "can you locate my missing bed pals?"

"Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes are currently sharing each other's company in the showers of the gymnasium."

Tony shook his head and laughed softly. "And they didn't invite me," he said, not really upset at all. He was still a little sore from his and Bucky's attempts to distract Steve last night. Right now Tony was very happy to let his super soldiers entertain each other while he dealt with other things.

"Have we heard from Nat or Clint yet, J?"

"Ms. Romanov contacted Dr. Banner earlier this morning, but I was not privy to their conversation."

"They engaged privacy protocols?" Tony asked rhetorically, more than a little surprised. All of the tower's occupants had been given the privacy option when dealing with Tony's AI, but Bruce and Natasha had declined it, preferring instead to use JARVIS as a safety precaution in case Hulk made an unexpected appearance.

The relationship between Hulk and Bruce had been improving steadily in the past seven months, the change credited in no small part to Natasha. Perhaps they'd finally decided to interact without the safety net.

Except that Natasha wasn't even in the building, so the only thing that had been blocked from JARVIS's monitoring had been a telephone conversation.

Phone sex, maybe?

Tony shook his head, unsurprised that his brain would go that direction first. He enjoyed sex _and_ he shared his bed with two super soldiers. Would anybody really be surprised that it was his first thought? Really?

But phone sex was unlikely to be the reason, especially considering the way she and Clint had left last night.

"J, where's Bruce?"

"In his lab, I believe."

"You believe?" Fortunately he'd programmed the AI to recognize a rhetorical question when Tony asked one. "Privacy protocols again, J?"

"Indeed," JARVIS said, sounding more frustrated than an AI should be able to get. Tony had programmed JARVIS to protect him, and later expanded that protocol to include all of the Avengers and their loved ones, so it probably wasn't surprising that JARVIS would be irritated when he couldn't do his job to the best of his considerable ability.

"I'll go down to the lab and check on him," Tony said.

JARVIS sounded quite relieved when he said, "Thank you, sir."

~*~

Bruce paced back and forth, his mind swirling with the details he was able to remember. Watching the movie on the TV while Natasha, Clint, Phil, and a man whose name was apparently Sam Wilson in real life, investigated the labs full of horrific experiments that they'd found in "Thad's" room had been bad enough. 

But Natasha's short, frustratingly vague phone call confirming that the information had been accurate had Bruce's blood pressure on the rise.

He gulped in a deep breath and tried to think of other things.

Until Natasha and Clint got back he had nothing concrete to work with anyway.

 _"Hulk smash?"_ a deep voice asked in the back of his mind.

"Not necessary, buddy," Bruce said out loud, glad to at least have the chance to talk to Hulk these days before he took over. "Well, not necessary _yet_." If the real life version of the experiments they'd found in Sid's room were as horrifying as Bruce expected, Hulk might have an entire underground base to rampage through.

 _"Hulk smash hard,"_ Hulk said in a deeply satisfied tone, apparently agreeing on Bruce's way of thinking. 

"First we need to do science."

Hulk grumbled, but calmed down and let Bruce worry in peace.

~*~

Clint and Natasha were way out of their depth. The Red Room, SHIELD and countless years of practical experience hadn't prepared either of them for this.

Their worst fears had been realized, and their next steps were unclear.

~*~

It took three separate knocking jags on the glass of the lab to finally get Bruce to look up from where he was sitting on his chair staring at the floor. Seeming both relieved and worried to see him, Bruce finally moved closer, disengaged the manual lock, and let Tony into his lab.

"Good morning," Bruce said quietly.

"You look like someone kicked your puppy," Tony suggested, trying to pretend that the obvious way the others had been protecting Steve last night had no correlation to the way Bruce was acting now.

"Ross is doing experiments using Steve's blood samples," Bruce said in a rush as if saying the words quickly would lessen their impact.

Tony took a calming breath. The truth was he'd been expecting something like this. It was no secret to the Avengers that General Ross wanted the super serum—that's why he'd tried to get control over Hulk—and since Steve's was the most perfect result of the various experiments that had been done over the decades, it wasn't really that hard to believe he'd managed to get his hands on Steve's blood.

SHIELD would not have missed the opportunity to "harvest" as much of Steve as they could while he'd still been unconscious from the ice. General Ross was an acknowledged and trusted ally of SHIELD, so chances were he'd obtained the samples in a perfectly legitimate, secret-government-business, national security kind of way, if one ignored the fact that it had been taken and used without Steve's permission. Of course, the government would argue that Steve's medical information was theirs in the first place since he'd volunteered for Erskine's experiment decades ago.

"Steve probably knows that someone is doing experiments," Tony said. "Though granted, the idea of that someone being Thunderbolt Ross is particularly disturbing." He physically shivered and it wasn't all for dramatic effect. "But it doesn't explain the reactions of everyone else last night after the movie finished."

Tony wasn't surprised to notice that Bruce's eyes had flecks of green right now. It had been happening more and more lately. Instead of completely taking over, these days Hulk was sometimes content just to make his presence known.

But that also meant that Bruce was even more agitated than he was letting on.

Tony wandered around the lab, peering at the various experiments, and feigning his own nonchalance. "Brucie," he finally asked in a flirty tone of voice, "what aren't you telling me?" 

Bruce shook his head slowly. He was a big fan of actual facts and verifiable, repeatable experiments, so it wasn't really surprising that he didn't want to speculate. "We think they're trying to use the serum to accelerate growth."

Tony was about to shrug—they already knew that Steve had grown a foot taller in a matter of minutes—but then his genius mind filled in all the possibilities. Growth. Actual growth that forced the human body to grow and mature.

"Fuck. They're experimenting on children."


	9. Chapter 9

_"Fuck. They're experimenting on children."_

Tony shook his head, hoping his conclusion was untrue, but Bruce's eyes flashed green as Hulk reacted again to what he already knew. At least part of the reason Hulk existed was because of Bruce's abusive father, so it was almost a miracle that the big green guy hadn't yet taken over.

As it was Bruce was probably angry enough to tear down Ross and his experiments without even changing color.

If Ross could medically induce a child to rapidly grow into adult form, then they didn't even need to worry about brainwashing them the way Hydra had done to Bucky. All they needed to do was provide only the information they wanted the child to know.

Fuck, this was as horrifying as extremist terrorism, yet it was being done by the very people who were the front line to dealing with these sorts of threats. It was likely even being done in the name of "protection." Tony felt sick. They were using innocent children in even worse ways than the Red Room. For Natasha this situation would be like reliving her own nightmare of a childhood. Fuck.

"Do we have an ETA for Nat and Clint?"

"They're on their way home now." Bruce hesitated, but apparently decided to say what was on his mind. "Tasha sounded freaked out. I think what they found is worse than we'd even imagined."

"Fuck," Tony whispered out loud this time.

Bruce gave him a sad smile. "Go spend some time with Steve and Bucky. It might be the last chance for things to feel normal for a while."

Tony nodded, hugged Bruce because he couldn't ignore the fear they were both feeling, and then practically ran for the elevator in his rush to spend a little bit of borrowed time with the men he loved.

~*~

Clint knew the difference between Natasha Romanov and the Black Widow and right now he was dealing with the latter. Natasha had forced down all of the emotions that made her a warm human being and simply gone into mission mode. To people who didn't know her well, the change wasn't that obvious. But to Clint it was like a glaring neon sign.

"Sam," Clint asked, "you're a pilot too, right?"

Sam crossed his arms and nodded.

"Do you think you could maybe keep us in the air while I go talk to Nat?"

They were currently on autopilot, but it was never a good idea to leave the controls unattended. Sam grinned and tilted his head. "Thought you'd never ask."

Clint spent a few moments pointing out where everything was—Tony had designed the quinjets' controls to very similar specifications to most other aircraft—and then handed over control. 

Sam grinned widely as he sat down.

Clint moved to where Tasha was sitting and took a seat beside her.

"Long night," he said, striving for a neutral subject first.

Nat gave him a tiny—totally fake—smile. "We've both had worse," she said sounding slightly amused.

"Not like this," Clint said, unable to dance around the topic. "We'll have to tell them eventually."

"Not if there's nothing to tell," Natasha said, glaring at the pile of paperwork and various other computer disks and drives that they'd liberated.

"You know there's something to tell," Clint said. It was strange for Natasha to be considering destroying evidence that could stop the experiments. Her need to protect Steve seemed out of proportion. "Is there something I'm missing here, Tash?"

"They deserve to be happy."

"We all do, Tasha, but you know Steve will never be happy if he learns these experiments were being done and he didn't do something to stop them."

"But if we burn it down, if we leave no evidence…"

Clint shook his head sadly. They couldn't do that. Not in this situation.

"I know," Natasha said finally sounding like herself and not the emotionless Black Widow. A single tear slid down her face. "We try so hard to protect everyone. I'm tired of it never being enough."

Something about that statement nagged at a thought he'd had a few months ago when Bucky had been struggling with some horrifying memories that had surfaced in his mind one night.

Once Clint made the connection it wasn't much of a leap to figure out what Natasha had done.

"Bucky really did kill Tony's parents."

Natasha gave him that tiny, terrifying smile. "There is no evidence to prove that."

Clint nodded once, silently agreeing to keep Natasha's secret, and then turned back toward the cockpit.

~*~

He hated not knowing. Ever since Bucky had regained control of his own mind, he'd become obsessed with information. The SHIELD psychologist had suggested it was a natural reaction to having been kept in the dark for so long, but had stressed that there were some situations when it was neither possible nor polite to know everything.

Bucky had managed to mold the impulse into a type of mission directive—that he only needed to know enough to protect his family, his entire family, including the rest of the Avengers, not just Tony and Steve—and it had helped him cope with the insatiable need to covertly gather information. 

Right now that urge was biting hard and he was as grateful for Steve's attempts to sidetrack him as he was for Steve's cooperation in letting Bucky distract him.

Although he was probably never going to be able to enter the shower area off the gym without mentally cataloguing how many times they'd taken each other this morning.

Even if JARVIS wasn't actively warning the others away, the loud moans and rhythmic thumping would surely have announced what they were doing in there. It was also kind of embarrassing at how much of a mess they'd made—both in the "upturned furniture" and the "not-such-a-mystery wet spot" varieties.

At least they'd managed to exhaust themselves for a little while.

And as soon as he had some energy he'd throw it into cleaning this place up.

He heard Tony's distinctive footsteps coming closer so he didn't even bother to actually move. As soon as their lover reached the door he whistled an impressed note. 

"And see here I was all these years thinking a shower was where you got clean."

"Come here, punk," Bucky said, reaching his arm out for Tony to come to him. "Sorry about the mess. We'll clean up as soon as our legs start working again."

"Damn straight you will," Tony said, sassing them both as he undid the belt and zipper on his pants. "But since you're already dirty…"

Steve chuckled. "Doll, I like the way you think."

~*~

"Loki?" Thor asked, worried for his brother's state of mind. He'd been withdrawn and brooding since they'd watched the footage of Clint, Natasha, Phil and Sam searching Sid's bedroom. Granted, silent inner reflection was not exactly an unusual state for Loki, but this time Thor was concerned. Something was different this time around and Thor suspected he knew what it was. "You could not have predicted this." He moved to stand beside his brother where he stood staring through the glass window but seeing nothing. "No one could have predicted this."

"It is an unfortunate side effect of our attempts to change Midgard's path in history, but it is hardly the end of the world," Loki said in an impatient tone, rolling his eyes when he glanced in Thor's direction.

Thor knew that others would take Loki's words at face value, that they would see only a man who didn't care about the changes he'd wrought, but Thor knew his brother far better than most.

Loki was blaming himself for all of it.

"I remember other timelines," Thor said, his memories overlaid by the events of this one, "that ended far worse. At least this time the Avengers are not fractured, they care for each other. They will be far more prepared for the challenges to come."

Loki flinched and Thor finally realized why he was stubbornly shouldering the blame of something that was not really his fault.

"But this time around," he said, knocking his shoulder against Loki's gently, "it's because you care for the individuals as well as Midgard's future path."

"Perhaps you're not quite as stupid as I credited you for," Loki said without his usual injection of venom into the words.

Coming from Loki that was actually a compliment.

Thor smiled just a little. "If there is one thing I have learned living among them, it's that the Avengers are very adaptable. You gave them the chance to be together, to build relationships, and to care deeply for each other." Thor took a deep breath. "I trust them to use that gift wisely. You should too."

Loki looked at him then, his face not really giving away his thoughts, but Thor knew him well enough to see the tiny glimmer of hope in his eyes.

~*~ 

"JARVIS," Clint called as they entered the building from the top floor where they'd landed the quinjet, "full privacy protocol, please."

"Privacy protocols are now in effect inside the building. Would you like for me to cease monitoring the landing area as well?"

"Thanks, JARVIS," Clint said, glad that Tony's AI was so damn smart. "Just until we get everyone inside the building." He winced when he realized that without being able to monitor inside or out, JARVIS would have no way of determining that. "You can turn the outside surveillance back on when I enter my unlock code again."

"Thank you, Mr. Barton. May I also suggest that you avoid the shower room off the gymnasium for the time being?"

"Thanks for the heads up," Clint said, not even having to use his imagination to know why the AI was warning him away. Considering what they were about to smuggle into the building he was very glad to have Steve, Tony, and Bucky distracted.

"Can you ask Phil, Loki and Thor to meet us in Bruce's lab too, please?"

"Consider it done," JARVIS said in his polite English accent. "Good luck, Mr. Barton."

"Thanks, buddy. I think we're going to need it."


	10. Chapter 10

"Sir," JARVIS said, cutting through the jagged haze of another sleepless night, "Dr. Banner has requested that you, Captain Rogers, and Sergeant Barnes met him in his lab as soon as possible."

"Sounds like they're ready to tell us what's going on," Steve said. He could practically feel his pale skin bleaching a shade whiter as his concern doubled. 

They'd gathered in Tony's workshop this morning, restlessly trying to fill the hours—Steve with his sketchbook, Tony with his designs for SI, and Bucky tinkering with Steve's bike. Despite the interminable wait, Steve couldn't help the feeling they were running short on time. 

He'd had always hated the wait before a mission or a battle, but this felt a hundred times worse, the knowledge that whatever Bruce had to tell them wasn't going to be good was already carved into his brain.

He wasn't at all surprised to find the rest of his team waiting just outside the lab for them. 

"We've got good news and bad news and even worse new, Cap," Clint said without preamble, "but there's someone we'd like to introduce you to first."

"Slinky?" Steve asked the new guy standing just out of the way.

"Oh, yeah, Slinky, AKA Sam Wilson, but he can wait. There's someone else you need to meet first." Sam nodded a friendly enough greeting, but he was clearly as on edge as the rest of them were.

"Someone else?" Tony asked curiously, clearly understanding more about what was going on than Steve or Bucky.

Steve was so tense that he startled just a little bit when the lab door opened using the manual release. A moment later Natasha beckoned for them to come inside. 

Bruce was holding a young child in his arms. Steve assumed she was a girl because of the pink blanket and the tiny bow in her dark hair, but the understanding of how she'd ended up in Bruce's lab whited out Steve's vision.

Fucking assholes.

"They were experimenting on children," he said, not even making it a question. 

"They were," Clint said. "Well they still are, but we have a couple of different plans to shut them down. Figured you'd want to be in on the planning and the take down especially since it's your version of the serum they're playing with."

"Which neatly brings us to why you need to meet this tiny person," Natasha said, rolling her eyes at Clint's rambling and then indicating for Bruce to hand the baby to Steve. He had no experience with babies, so he held her awkwardly for a few moments before Bucky came to his rescue. The little girl cooed happily when Bucky settled her in the crook of his arm and talked quietly to her.

"I don't understand," Steve said, wanting to be one-hundred percent sure of what they were telling him.

"She's yours, Steve," Clint said, grinning broadly. "We're still trying to figure out who the mother—"

"Actually," Bruce said in his mild and calming tone of voice. "I think I have an answer for that too." He turned and flicked through a large stack of reports on his desk until he found the file he wanted. "When we discovered Hydra hiding inside SHIELD, it seems that Ross was given access to all of Bucky's medical information as well as everything…else they had on him." He glanced at Bucky, smiling briefly. "I'll have to do DNA testing to be certain, but they were working on ways to combine the DNA of two super soldiers."

"But that was only seven months ago," Phil said, sounding as stunned as Steve felt.

"And we're both male," Bucky added with a soft laugh. He seemed to be taking the news of the little girl's possible parentage a lot better than Steve was. He hadn't thought about having children since before he went into the ice.

"Actually," Bruce said, again searching through his reports until he found the right one, "with the methods they were using—something similar to cloning—you both being male is kind of irrelevant."

"Why didn't they just clone one or the other?" Phil asked.

"Or both?" Clint added.

Bruce looked very uncomfortable. "As far as I can tell from their notes—and I am no way near getting through the mountain of information Nat, Clint, and Sam were able to acquire—they were trying to remove the genes that make you both independent thinkers and therefore difficult to deal with." Bruce gave Bucky a small smile. "Apparently your frequent successes at breaking their programming were a rather big problem for them."

Bucky smirked, and Steve was really glad to see the pride Bucky had found in fighting against and surviving what Hydra had done to him long enough to be rescued.

"So wait," Steve said, too many thoughts demanding his attention. "You said they've only had Bucky's medical stuff for seven months. Maybe less."

"What's the matter, punk," Bucky said, grinning at him now. "I'm not good enough to have your baby?"

Steve couldn't help but smile widely at the realization that Bucky was happy about this. During the war the Howling Commandos had often talked about their plans for "after," and Bucky had always said he was going to be the favorite uncle to all of Steve and Peggy's kids. At the time, Steve had almost believed it himself.

"Okay," Bruce said, finding yet another report he needed, "they used the serum to accelerate the pregnancy and her growth. Roughly double the usual speed. Perhaps a little more."

"So what you're sayin', doc," Bucky said, his Brooklyn accent coming through more clearly now than it had since they'd found him, "is that little Sarah here is only a coupla weeks old?"

"That would be my best guess at this stage," Bruce said, smiling at the way Bucky seemed even more relaxed now. "Sarah is a beautiful name."

"Suits her too. Don't it, Stevie?" 

"Are you sure?" he asked. He had a daughter. Hell, he had a daughter with Bucky. If that wasn't the most surprising thing to happen to him in the "future" he'd eat his shield.

"Of course I'm sure," Bucky said, moving closer to Steve. "Your mom was a very special lady. It seems to fit since our little girl is rather incredible too."

"How are you not freaking out about this?" Steve asked, already warming to the idea of being a father despite all of his worries that he knew nothing about raising a child. 

"The way I see it, Stevie," Bucky said, "something good finally came from all the experiments they did on us both." He smiled down at the tiny baby now asleep in his arms. "And we've only got sixteen years before she wants to date guys like Tony."

"Hey," Tony said, as usual unable to ignore Bucky's teasing. "The Internet is full of exaggeration."

"Get over here, doll," Bucky said, reaching for Tony with his free arm. "I saw you trying to slip away."

Steve hadn't. 

Holy fuck. 

He hadn't even given Tony a moment's thought while he'd been dealing with such unexpected news. They'd spent a whole year miscommunicating until Bucky had joined them. Even with his memories scrambled, Bucky was pretty much the glue that kept everything together.

Without him Steve might have gained a daughter and lost the love of his life.

Unable to control his primitive instincts, Steve reached over and wrapped one of his hands around Tony's nearest wrist. His lover looked down at the light but unbreakable hold and then back up at him. "I wasn't planning to go far, Cap."

"Don't go at all," Steve said, grateful when the rest of the team started to file out the door. "I know kids weren't supposed to be part of the package." Tony laughed at his phrasing. "But Sarah is here now, and she's adorable, and she's going to need at least three fathers to make sure she doesn't grow up and run off with some rake."

"Punk's got a point," Bucky said, verbally backing him up. "They may have tried to genetically engineer the sass out of her, but Tony, you know us both. Do you honestly think anyone could remove _all_ of that attitude from our DNA?"

"You make a good point," Tony said, smiling at Sarah sucking her fist in her sleep. "There is no way a kid as adorable as that one is not going to give us gray hair and heart palpitations every day of the week." He moved close enough to cuddle into both Steve and Bucky. "But I honestly wasn't going anywhere. I know you guys love me."

Steve couldn't begin to explain the terrible relief that rushed through him to hear those words.

"So where were you going?" Bucky asked, pushing the point when Steve would have backed off. 

Tony actually smiled. "I was going to check a few things with JARVIS and since privacy protocols are on in the lab, I needed to step outside to do that."

"What were you going to check, doll?"

Tony winked. "I have an idea on how we can hide her from Ross, but I needed to hack into the births' register to check a few details. That's all."

"She's growing at twice the rate of a normal child," Steve said, seeing where Tony might be going with this. "If we register her as being born a year or so ago…"

Tony grinned widely. "I knew you weren't just a pretty face, Cap."

Steve laughed and hugged Tony to him. 

"On one condition," Bucky said, surprising both of them. 

"Buck, this is necessary," Steve said, not quite sure what his oldest friend was objecting to.

"I know it's necessary, but I think it would be best to list her as Tony's daughter."

"It makes sense," Steve said. Any child listed as his or Bucky's would be recognized as having some version of the serum. As Tony's child, her life would be far from ordinary, but she would be hidden in plain sight from the people who would be the most danger to her.

"And has the bonus of giving me an heir to leave my fortune to," Tony said with a wide grin.

"But that isn't why I suggested it," Bucky said, moving over to Tony and carefully handing over the sleeping baby. He looked about as freaked out as Steve had felt holding such a young child in his arms. "I want the four of us to be a real family. This way we all get a say in how she's raised."

"You know I'm not good with tiny humans," Tony said, looking even more freaked out now that he realized Bucky meant for him to take an active role in raising their daughter, not just one on paper. "You've seen the Internet. I'm like, the least appropriate person to be trusted with parenting."

"You'll do fine," Bucky said, carefully leaning over the baby to press a soft kiss to Tony's lips. He turned to hugged Steve. "So will you, punk."

"She is rather cute," Tony said, smiling down at the child sleeping in his arms, "so she'll fit in nicely with the rest of the Avengers." He lowered his voice and spoke to the little girl as if telling her a secret. "It's a rule you know. Gotta be good looking to be a superhero."

"Tony," Steve said, loving the man all the more for his humor. "That is not a rule. And she's not going to be a superhero."

Tony and Bucky both laughed at him. "Because she's a girl?" Bucky asked. "I dare you to say that in front of Natasha."

"No," Steve said, grinning as he imagined what Natasha would do to him if she suspected he thought that way. "She doesn't need to be cute or a superhero or anything else that people expect. She just needs to be herself, whatever they may be."

"Damn straight," Tony said with conviction.

Bucky winked. "Always knew you'd make a great dad some day."

Steve smiled and hugged his family close. "Welcome to the world's most unusual family, Sarah Rebecca Stark."

**Epilogue**

_Nearly two years later..._

"Uncle Bruce," Sarah asked, looking away from the educational children's show they'd been watching together. "Can Hulk take me to the park later?"

Bruce grinned but shook his head. "You know why Hulk can't go to the park."

"Coz kids' parents get scared of him," she repeated, having heard the explanation many times.

Bruce nodded. Perhaps it shouldn't have been surprising that Hulk and Sarah got along so well—the green guy's protective streak for children was a mile wide—but it was Sarah's complete lack of fear and determination to get her own way that had floored them all.

Apparently her creators hadn't been able to remove all of the "sass" (as Bucky had called it.) There were days even when Bruce wondered if they'd accidentally dialed it up a few more notches. Steve and Bucky could be immoveable walls of pure stubborn, but Sarah topped them both easily.

Thank heavens she was being raised by adults capable of guiding such a strong will. The expression "It takes a village to raise a child" was particularly apt for this little one. Being surrounded by Avengers—all of them almost as stubborn as she was—certainly helped.

"Hulk should be able to play in the park," she added, crossing her arms to show her irritation. "Parents are stupid."

"Your daddies aren't stupid."

She rolled her eyes, her attitude way too close to that of a teenager despite only being the physical equivalent of a four-year-old and actually less than two years old.

"Not my daddies," she said, sounding exasperated with him. Bruce carefully hid his smile. "Just all the other kids' daddies."

_"Sarah smart kid,"_ Hulk rumbled in the back of Bruce's mind.

_"Yeah, she is. I'm sorry you can't play in the park with her,"_ Bruce offered sadly. Hulk hadn't had an uncontrolled incident in years, but people feared what they didn't understand, and big, green, and indestructible was something most people didn't want around their kids. Bruce knew that parents were just trying to protect their children, but it didn't help much when he could feel how much it hurt the big guy.

_"Hulk understand. No like, but understand."_

_"I know, buddy. We'll head down to the gym later so you can work through some of that energy."_ Hulk grunted his agreement. _"And later Sarah will read a book with you before bedtime."_ Again Hulk grunted his agreement.

Bruce and Hulk had both come a long way in the past few years. Finding the Avengers and becoming part of their family had helped set them on the right path. Learning to live cooperatively instead of fearing and hating each other had given Bruce the chance to understand why the Hulk was a part of him. And Hulk was finally getting the chance to learn and grow. Just as Clint had once predicted, Hulk had begun to mature, learning the things that interested him (that was a big no to science, but he loved lots of other subjects) now that he was no longer frightened all of the time.

It helped immensely that General Thaddeus Thunderbolt Ross was serving a life sentence in the maximum security prison he'd had designed and built to hold the superheroes he'd decided were vigilantes. 

"The Raft" had been Ross's attempt to control the increasing number of people with special skills, and while Bruce would be the first to concede that some were very dangerous, it had been Ross's blanket, xenophobic labeling that had inflamed the problem. When given a chance, most people chose to live in peace—even those with skills and powers previously considered only fiction.

Once Ross's experiments had been exposed for the world to see, and his hypocrisy revealed, the backlash had been swift, and for the Avengers, very satisfying. They'd managed to keep Sarah out of the information they'd handed to the authorities, but it also meant that one day Sarah would learn that she was the fifth experiment and only survivor of the process. They all hoped to keep the information away from her until she was old enough to cope, but they were all resigned to the fact that she would learn it eventually.

It had been hard enough watching Steve, Bucky, and Tony cope with the confusing sense of loss that something like miscarriage evoked. The experiments hadn't been viable and would never have made it to being living human beings, but the grief was still there, perhaps more confusing for its lack of tangibility.

One day Sarah would feel that loss too.

_"Hulk protect, Sarah."_

_"We all will, buddy."_

"Uncle Bruce, are you talking to Hulk?"

Bruce grinned and nodded. He'd been told that his expression often gave him away. Apparently it was something else Sarah noticed too.

"Can you ask him what book he wants to read tonight?"

Bruce almost didn't have to ask. Just like a lot of children, when Hulk found a story he loved he wanted to read it over and over. Of course this one had particular sentimental meaning. It had led them all to Sarah.

~*~

"How is this my life?" Tony asked Bucky as they stood at the bedroom door and watched their daughter read her Toy Story book out loud while leaning against Hulk's massive thigh.

"They do this every night," Bucky said, sounding a little bit confused.

Tony turned to face him, stepping into his embrace. "I mean, how did I get so lucky?" He laughed softly. "How did a metal suit, an alien invasion, and the meddling of the God of Mischief end up with me having two super soldier husbands, an adorable daughter, and being happier than I ever imagined possible?"

"Well, there are a few down sides." Bucky glanced at Steve as he moved through the apartment to join them. "You got lumped with a lug head like Stevie."

Steve laughed, completely at ease with Bucky's teasing. "Finished for the night?"

"I am," Tony said with a grin. His engineering benders were fewer and further between these days—he'd become horribly domesticated, always coming home to share dinner with his family and never missing movie night even when he was busy creating—but he still managed to spend a decent number of hours doing what he did best. Stark Industries bottom line was even better now than they'd ever been when developing weapons.

And these days Tony was very proud of the legacy he would one day leave to their daughter.

~*~ 

Bucky held Tony just a little bit tighter. Most days he felt the same way—truly blessed but somewhat bewildered by his good fortune. He smiled at his daughter, the miracle child he'd never expected to have, and felt only deep contentment. 

"Come on," Steve said, clapping a hand onto his shoulder and squeezing affectionately. "It's Loki choice for movie night."

Darcy was complaining rather loudly when they joined everyone except Bruce—who was on babysitting duty—in the movie room.

"Two years, Loki. Two goddamn years of being thrown into one of your movies and I have yet to get a speaking character."

Bucky smiled at the young woman's ire. He knew she wasn't as serious as she sounded, but he could understand her frustration. Even when Loki had put them into Finding Nemo, Darcy had ended up as one of the jellyfish—silent and slow moving. She hadn't been impressed. That had been followed by ever more strange characters for her to play. They'd all tried not to laugh when she was the flying carpet in Aladdin and the footstool that turned back into a dog in Beauty and the Beast. But the truly memorable moment had been when Loki had deliberately tried to make her the Princess in The Prince Diaries and she'd ended up as a hairbrush.

The teasing and complaints had gone on for weeks.

Darcy was a good sport about it, she really was, but she did deserve to get a better part.

"I'm sorry, Darcy," Loki said in his most sincere tone (that didn't sound much different to his regular tone unless the listener knew him very well.) "The spell chooses who you are based on factors beyond my control. You remember what happened when I tried to change things."

Darcy flicked her hair like the most spoiled of divas and took a seat next to Sam instead of her usual place with Jane, Loki, and Thor. "You're just mean," she said with an exaggerated pout.

"Don't worry, Darce," Sam said in his quiet, steady voice, "we're marathoning the original Star Wars trilogy the next three weeks—plenty of kick ass characters in those."

She rolled her eyes, but then ruined the diva act by laughing out loud. "I guess being cast as Han Solo might right a lot of wrongs."

Bucky smiled at her choice of character. A flawed hero who eventually did the right thing in the end—there were definitely worse ones to play.

"Everybody ready?" Loki asked as they all settled in for Loki's version of movie night.

A few moments later, Bucky cast his gaze around a crowded bar. It was quite a few minutes into the movie, but that was okay. The way the spell worked he wouldn't need to wait long. Though it seemed Darcy had not gotten the role she'd wanted since Bucky was Han Solo. 

Chewbacca sat opposite him and it took Bucky a few moments to recognize Darcy's face. But he couldn't stop himself from laughing when she thumped a fist on the table and growled in the Wookie language, "Loki, you fucking prick!"

"Hey, Darce," Bucky said, still trying to stifle his laughter, "at least this time you can talk…"

THE END


End file.
